27 Days Post Op: I am so outta here in the morning

Tomorrow is going home day and I have finished my in patient rehab program.  The goals have been met and I will be able to cope with being at home.  There is still work to be done to get where I want to be and that will be under the care of the fantastic people at Body Leadership Australia.  I don't mean to sound like an advertisement, I just miss them and this change over point really marks achievement (as in I've learnt the things I need to learn to cope on the outside) and a change in philosophy for my rehabilitation program to one that I am more comfortable with and positive about.

The things that I have learnt / reinforced from this hospital stay are:
Private cover is worth every penny:  I think that if I was in a shared room I would have gone absolutely crazy.  I also think that public might have discharged me sooner than now when I wouldn't have been completely prepared to go home.  (This is based on some of the horror stories that I heard over morning tea in the rehab gym - absolutely crazy - they weren't about Mater Public but even so)

Don't book in for major surgery a couple of weeks before Easter or other holiday period: Even if you think you are going to be out before the holiday period, don't risk it.  Not as many services are available during holidays even in hospitals.  I hadn't really thought that I would be in here this long though if I had of been asked before hand, I would have expected something like rehab in a rehab unit to be an essential service.  Apparently it is not.  Even in a Private Hospital.  Disappointing huh?

People who complain about TEDs have never had to wear Venosans:  TEDs are a walk in the park in comparison.  The policy of my rehab doctor is TEDs for night, Venosans for day.  I'm sure they are excellent at doing the job of keeping clots at bay and are no where near as much difficulty as a clot but it doesn't mean that I have to like them.  I certainly don't like them being put on me. (Hip restrictions means I can't do it for myself either so there have been times where I've been flicked or there has been a part that is overlapped and digging in during the process of struggling to get them up my leg.

If the nurses have reason to ask you if you want a movicol, it's probably a good idea to take it.  If you don't know what I am talking about, don't ask.  I just hope that one day if you are asked you remember this piece of advice.  Especially if you are being fed codeine.

If someone offers to bring you breakfast/lunch/dinner accept:  Don't be a martyr.  Too much hospital food has to kill you.  It can't possibly be good for you.  I have been told that this hospital has better food than the others in Brisbane.  While this may be true, four weeks of it is far too much of it.

Stand up for yourself:  You have to know what your medication is, what your treatment process is going to be and anything you are supposed to or not supposed to do and if anyone tells you otherwise, correct them.  It could be dangerous not to know.  People make mistakes.  Don't be the one to suffer from them.

Accept that you can't do it all and accept help graciously:  This is a hard lesson to learn for the independent and stubborn like me.  I'm in hospital for a reason and that reason is stopping me from being the independent person that I am.  I hate being reliant on others however that being said, I am grateful for those that helped me and didn't make me feel like I was a burden to them.  I am especially grateful to my husband who helped me at least maintain some dignity and the little sanity that I have left.  I could have done this without him and survived but I would have been somehow less me at the end of the process and very probably on anti-depressants and in worse physical shape.  I don't know how people do things like this without the kind of support that I have and I hope that I never have to find out.

I'm probably still a little close to the situation since I'm still here so I may not have figured out yet all of the things that I have learnt out of this experience.

24 Days Post Op: 4 Days to go in Rehab

Today is the first day that I have been able to consistently get my feet in and out of bed.  Last night I didn't have to buzz for help to get out of bed which was completely awesome.   I also had too many chances to practice last night as I was pretty restless and was up four or five times.   Part of being able to do this is down to the fact that they forgot to lock me in for the night by putting the side rails up on my bed (they got two late transfers from another ward and were rushed of their feet - so I smiled and nodded and didn't remind them!).  Even though I had mastered the in and out of bed thing,  I would have still required assistance as you can't actually put the rails down when you are in the bed unless you are able to contort yourself over the side and lift a latch to do so which I really can't as to get to where it is placed would violate my hip precautions.  

This really was the last thing on my absolutely must do goals list before I can go home.  The extra couple of days is going to be good to solidify the progress and start to put a new plan in place as to what I want to achieve next.  I'll need to talk to my real Physio about that one and put a proper home plan in place so that I am maximising the results that I achieve.

I also had real food smuggled in for me today again.  It was awesome.  I miss real food and am counting down the hours until I can have it all of the time.  I'm not sure what my nutrition has been like while I've been here but do doubt that the meals are nutritionally balanced and designed for optimum health.  If they are, they certainly don't taste like it.  Having said that, dinner just arrived and actually looks ok.  The broccoli and carrots look real.  I might just eat those!  I still need a few more vitamins and minerals to help with the healing.

The rehab assistant turned up as we were finishing eating to take me for a walk which I politely declined opting to walk with my guests today.  It still surprises me that they have asked considering that I haven't received that level of attention on holidays before today with them expecting my husband to assist.  I wonder what has prompted the changes.  It is a little bit too late really given that I am going home in just a few days.

I had an interesting talk to a registrar today that will be presenting my case as a case study for his physician's exams.  It seems that emotional responses to chronic illness now feature as part of a patient assessment.  I'm not sure when this cropped up in the medical process but I am glad that it did and I hope that it filters throughout the medical profession as this seems to be where a big void was when I was diagnosed.  There seems to be more information sharing these days as well, making patients more informed about the medical process and what is going to happen.  It isn't completely there yet, google still helps (and probably hinders in a number of occasions) and the number of reputable medical resources online are growing.  Take Mr McMinn's site as an example of valuable medical information in relation to the procedure that I have had done.  My surgeon pointed me in this direction to find out more about the process and the prostheses which is something that couldn't and wouldn't have been done a decade ago.

Tomorrow is my home visit and I'm a little nervous about getting in and out of the car.  It's not something that I have done before and I'm not sure how I'll go.  It's something that I wish we could have tried before the actual day though there is no real way to do this without them actually organising a car and bringing it to the front of the building where the patient transfer vans pull up.   I have to decide tomorrow whether or not I should organise an ambulance to get me home or whether we should go in the car.  I'm leaning towards patient transport to get in the first time.  It also means that even though I can get up the front steps, I won't need to be able to get up them that day as I will be stretchered in and will actually be able to do some more work on building strength and mobility and be both physically and mentally prepared before we go out into the real world.  I'm a little bit worried about going out too early and not being strong enough to hold my own.  At the moment my pace is more than slow and the idea of being pushed around scares the living daylights out of me.  I'm sure like my progress so far, things will come together and I will know when it is going to be ok and until then, I'll at least be in the comfort of my own home.

I suppose it isn't surprising that I have new anxieties as the next change to my situation changes.  I have to keep reminding myself that it was a massive surgery and progress isn't going to be immediate. Apparently the mood swings are quite a normal part of the whole process.  For some reason it came up when I was talking to the rehab doctor today and he wasn't overly concerned and reminded me that I have had a major surgery and there will be emotional ups and downs as I get through the rehabilitation process.  I have been reasonably even the last 48 hours and I'm hoping to at least get through until I get home before something else sets me off.   The disparity between what the appropriate emotional response is to a catalyst to what actually happens is lessening but there is still a way to go yet.  I'm not sure I made the right decision in not following up my request to speak to a social worker or not.  I'm sure that I will work through these issues, just not sure if I should have sought more help to get there.  I guess I will see how I cope when I'm in my own environment again and just keep an eye on the mood swings and enlist the help of friends to give me the heads up if I start to head too far into a slump.  It's important that I keep a positive attitude to speed up the recovery process.

I'm still hoping that I will meet my end of June goals though right now I can't imagine walking without a mobility aid.  It's crazy that I can't because only a few days ago I couldn't imagine getting my feet into bed.  I really shouldn't have these hangups as my progress should be proving to me that I am on the right path.  I guess that's really why the physio upset me on Saturday.  Even though I really didn't have doubts that I would get there eventually, I still can't imagine progressing that far and I didn't like being told that I just had a 'good chance' as it's made me actively think about the little things that are niggling at the corners of my mind as the main part tries to stay positive and focused on what needs to be done.