2014 in Review and What Comes Next?

A lot has changed in my life in 2014.

There has been an overwhelming sense of accomplishment as well as the associated 'well what now' that inevitably follows completing something that you never thought would ever be possible.  This was the theme of my homework set by Julie for the Christmas holidays.

I'm in Bangkok at the moment on my annual break.  This is something that is only relatively new in my life, taking holidays!  The first year that we came here was in 2010, just before I met with the surgeon for the first time.

Travel was never really that high on my wish list - it was uncomfortable, I suffered for days after the flight with pain and stiffness, I could never do as much as I wanted to and it was just easier not to think too much about it.  I also worked a lot...  like a crazy person in fact.  Work was something I could do, something that I could achieve with.   I'm not entirely sure that I had time from the start of 2000 until 2010 that I could have actually gone on holidays overseas for too long.  This isn't to say I never travelled.  I did a few trips with work in the privilege of business class and no time to do too much that was physically demanding.  (There was that one trip to Vegas...  but that's for a whole other post)

So the last year pre-op I went to a city that I knew people and they knew what I could and couldn't do.  They also didn't feel the need to do too much that was touristy and required too much walking.  Taxis were in abundance and were extremely affordable and I had a holiday that fit in with what I could do.

We now return and the holiday has changed a little - we do walk more.  I still don't go to the gym or the local pilates studio as I promise myself each year as I pack my gym gear but my life is substantially more active than it ever has been before.

So the homework....  to figure out what my 2015 goals are going to be.  In trying to come up with something, I spent a fair bit of time reflecting on the year and what I had actually achieved and what had changed.

The highlights:

• I can get up and down off the floor without leaning on anything above ground level
• I can walk 15km and pull up fine in the morning (I could possibly do more - but it's at that point where I'm kind of bored with being in my own head and just want to do something else)
• I walk and people don't know that I've had hips replaced
• My posture has improved substantially 
• I can wear heels (Hey, I know bad for the body and I've always claimed flats are the way to go but it is nice to dress up some times and slide into a pair of Ferragamo peep-toe heels.  My physio says it's ok on occasion too - so I'm in the clear!)
• I sleep better than I ever have before.  I can exist on substantially less sleep than I ever have before.  I prefer to get more hours and quite often do but I can now wake up in the morning before the alarm and be where I need to be without the 
• I can easily do up my own shoelaces.  I could earlier post-op but it still had it's challenges.  It's now just part of real life these days.
• Getting in and out of car - completely changed - it's so much easier to not slide in like a lady and then bring legs in.  
• General flexibility.  It amazes me sometimes that I don't think twice about picking things up off the ground.  That I can bend and reach.  That my balance has improved.
• I actually like physical activity.  It turns out that my old belief that I didn't was really just a function of what I was physically capable of - not actually what was real.  It surprised me.  

The things I've learned:

• To accept that these great accomplishments just aren't as impressive to others.  The things that I get excited about and have shared with friends have often been met with the blank oh great stares.
• To accept that the most important thing to the outside world is the weight that I've lost.  About 14kg.  I know this is awesome and it's been fun buying a new wardrobe and fitting into things that I haven't worn for years, but to me this is just a nice little positive side effect.  I never did any of this to lose weight.  That was never a factor in any of the decisions I've made.  The strength and new found freedom, the blank stare stuff is just so much more important.

My world has changed.  I'm finding myself.  The person that I never thought that I was.  The person that I never even thought about being because it was so far removed from what my reality was.

I didn't quite make it to figuring out what the goals were.   I started by looking at the suggestion of Kokoda Trail - but it didn't jump out at me.  It's not the distance.  This is a pretty great challenge that meets the criteria of a suitable challenge in that I would require a fair bit of training to be able to achieve the goal, and yet still it's just not quite right.

The Bhutan Trek to Happiness walk as a fundraiser for the Black Dog Institute interested me more - but it wasn't really challenging enough to be a goal for the next stage of my development.  I think I might still do this one day - but it won't be a goal, just something that I'll do for fun.  The fund-raising side to this event would be the biggest challenge.

I'm still looking.  I'm sure it will come to me soon and in the meantime, the search is fun.  I've thought of and found a lot of activities that require another look at now that I have this new found freedom.

Things like:

• Going to an all day music festival and be in the mosh pit at least once.  
• Indoor rock climbing
• Abseiling

If you can think of anymore - please post!!

I'm looking forward to spending more time on this little homework project in the coming weeks.

Friday Pilates

We took a few pictures at Pilates on Friday to submit to Body Leadership for the article that was being published for Body Leader of the Month.   I'm not sure if the one on the left is leg circles or adductor stretching.

In the next, each leg take turns in pushing forward while the other lifts.

I've talked about the next exercise in a pre-op post about Pilates. (Long Spine) I just started this one again on Friday.  Controlling the movement fluidly is a little more difficult that pre-op but still feels really great.   It is working that troublesome glute really well!  There is another one were I am lying on a box on my stomach facing the left (towards the picture of the skeleton on the wall that you can see in the first picture) but I haven't included that one - it truly is the definition of a bad picture!  The increase in the amount of exercises that I can do changes dramatically from week to week and things that I didn't like and weren't comfortable with pre-op aren't all that bad anymore.

In particular if you remember my intense dislike to the reverse knee pulls, well, that's changed.  It isn't that much of an issue any more.  I thought it was because I didn't feel comfortable looking down at the ground thinking that I would fall flat on my face.  I guess it must have been just general discomfort that I wasn't interpreting correctly.

I'm also back on the foam roller and balancing quite well.  I tried this exercise with both arms up off the ground at the same time but I'm not quite stable enough for that yet and get a little wobbly.  Maybe by next week I will have the strength back that I require!

I'm back on the bosu as well.  I can stand and do squats and also from standing transfer weight from side to side.  I stood pretty close to the wall when I got onto the bosu since though I really wanted to try it out and see if I was ready yet, I didn't want to fall on my ass either!

Friday was a very productive session.  I am starting to see how much more I will be able to progress past what I was able to do pre-op.   There are a few exercises that I was doing about six years ago that I am yet to try again but I think that I will be quickly moving on to more that I wasn't able to do at all.   One of the main that I was able to do back then requires me to stand on the reformer (one leg on the bit that I'm laying on in the top pictures and one on the other where the wooden panel and the feet support it - the bar bit goes down).  I'm not quite comfortable with the idea of getting up there just yet but I'm sure after a few more times on the bosu, I'll gain enough confidence to get up there and give it a go.  I don't think that the exercise itself will be difficult for me in the slightest, it's just being that far off the ground that I'm not quite 'good' with yet.  I'll keep you all posted!

Down for the count and a week of updates

Since my last post, I was down with a cold/flu for about a week.  Three of those days I slept for almost the whole day and in my few lucid moments, I thought that I might have felt worse than when I did when I was in hospital after my op.  I'm not sure if the memories have faded or whether the fog of congestion distorted the true state of things, but at the time it was the worst thing in the world.

I couldn't even help puppy sit on the weekend which was quite sad.  By Tuesday I felt a lot better and though I wasn't totally on top of things yet, the massive difference between not being able to scrape myself out of bed and being up and about made Tuesday feel amazing.  I spent most of the day looking after the puppy from across the street since his human was away for a few days.  The little rascal is a bit of a Houdini and I spent a good part of the day getting enough exercise to make up for the few days in bed.  I think that Jack, aka the little rascal, had realised on Tuesday that I was one big sucker for that cute little face and that I would be his human for a few days while his was away.  He really is a good puppy, it's just that puppies have a lot of energy and I'm not quite there yet.  I did get a good sleep when his human came home on Wednesday night.  The handover was kind of like giving him away which is a little weird since we were only puppy sitting, though I guess that I had fallen for the little guy some time ago.  I can still visit him there and maybe sometime soon, I'll be able to take him for some long walks.

I missed physio on Monday but made it in for a session on Wednesday.  Even though I walked in without the cane, the big 'look at me' moment was walking up and down the stairs without holding a railing or using the cane.  It's something that I have been practicing for quite a while.  In the last two weeks I had become brave enough to not hold on to the rail but I would still hover my hand near it - just in case.  My active ranges had dropped a couple of degrees, though I am not surprised or disappointed as I really did nothing for the best part of a week and was still a little fatigued.   The fact that I could breath through my nose again was just too much of a natural high for a couple of degrees to dampen my spirits.I have no doubt that I will be back and improving those again in no time.  

After a big sleep in today, I headed into work to catch up on a few things.  I've been walking around a lot more without my cane, though I still carry it around in my laptop case (it folds down!).  The only real place I need to use it is when I go to the bathrooms.  The main reason for this is the large step at the door that has no where to lean.  I could probably manage it, though I am still a little wary, especially in areas that could be wet and slippery.  Every now and then I have those 'almost could have been really bad' moments where I'm reminded that I still need to be careful.  I'm still six or so weeks away from the point where the risk of fracture to my femurs reduces.  Six months and twelve months are the points where the risks drop off quite substantially.  

Tomorrow, I'm back at Pilates.  Looking forward to reformer time!  I'm starting to think that my left leg not only has more range than it did pre-op, it is also stronger than it was before.  It's a pretty amazing outcome.  The surgery has been a massive success and I'm looking forward to see what the outcomes as my strength continues to increase.

Sleep In Saturday

I didn't really get out of bed this morning.  It was after twelve by the time I decided that I was too hungry to nap anymore and needed some breakfast.  I wasn't home too late last night and there was only one glass of red wine but I have been paying for it all day!  It has been a full week and there were a few nights there where I didn't sleep well, so it isn't too surprising that I needed to catch up on some snooze time.

Last night I went out with some of the people that I used to work with.  As I was getting ready to go out, I figured that I might give boots a go.  Last winter I couldn't wear them unless I had some help to do the zippers up.  The zipper runs down the inside of the leg right to the sole of the shoe near the arch.  Pre-op I couldn't reach that.  I managed to get tights on and my boots which I was pretty pleased by.  I did joke to my sister that I might need her to come around this morning if I couldn't get them off when I got home last night.  As I headed out, I really wasn't sure if would be able to get them off when I got home but I wasn't too concerned about that.  I've slept in my shoes before after a night out and overdone it.  Things can only get better from here on in so it was worth a try.

It was good to catch up.  Everyone has gone on to do different things and has new stories about the things they are doing.  It would be awesome if there was a project in the future that we could all work on again.  We had a really good team there.  It really is a shame that it all ended.  Sitting around talking about the good old days is surely a sign that I'm getting older.  This was a very quiet night for this crowd.  Likely another sign that we are getting old.  It was a good night.  We should do this more often.  Life just gets busy and moves on to different things.  I'm not quite sure what mine is moving on to.

Progress Update

This morning I got out of the pool using the steps.  This wasn't something that I could do pre-op so it's a pretty big step (literally and figuratively!).  I led with the left which is the side with the greater range.  I did need to pull up a little with my arms until my right foot was about 30 cm from the pool floor.  From that point on, there was more weight through the left leg to bring the right side up.  I went up step at a time with the same side so the next goal will be to alternate and then to start with the right leg up.

Next week I'm going to start pilates again.  I was cleared by my physio to do this a couple of weeks ago but I wasn't quite ready for the getting up and down off the floor.  The actual exercises I was and am looking forward to.   It means that I'll probably miss out on hydro for a week or two while I realign all my appointment times to fit everything in.  I'll still go to the pool on its new day - it will just be on my own until everything fits together properly.

Do you think that I could jog 5K?

Not now - that would be a pretty daft idea.  I can't even walk properly yet and my femurs aren't up to the impact of running.  It's off the list for at least a year.  Some argue that femurs are finished healing six months but I don't think it is worth the risk.

So maybe, September next year?
Bridge to Brisbane
I've never done anything like that before.  I'm not even sure I like running.  There is a possibility I could though.  I don't think I'll get into marathon running or anything like that.  Every now and then I hear of some activity that one of my friends is going to do and I think, maybe I could do that.

This is a very new experience for me.  I'm not quite sure what to make of it.

First Real Post-Op Outing

Today was the first real outing and my husband and I went for coffee and brunch at La Dolce Vita at Park Road, Milton with friends.  (I know I went to the hospital to see the social worker on Tuesday but that really wasn't a 'real' outing after being there for four weeks)

The trip was part of the 'Project Awesome' goals that I worked out with Paul from Body Leadership for my recovery process.  Reintegration into the real world is a little scary when you have been in safe places since a major operation.  I'm also very comfortable in my own space and am not getting cabin fever, so there it is easy for me to let time pass making the prospect of going out a bigger issue than it actually is.

The main reason that I had been a little scared about going out in public are all of the falls hazards that are outside of my control.  I also worried about available seating and whether toilets were going to be available that were accessible and the right heights.  (The toilets for some reason were a really big deal which is strange considering that when they weren't a problem - at the hospital - I didn't even need to use them and we were out for about two hours that day.  Surely I could manage a quick outing without having to go?)  I also worried about being stranded somewhere without being able to sit and not able to walk any further (highly irrational considering that was a) unlikely to happen and b) I wasn't going to be left alone).  All of these things were probably becoming bigger deals in my own head as I put off facing them.

I got to chose where to go out to and the conditions of my 'release' to help make me more comfortable about what we were going to do today.  I chose La Dolce Vita Restaurant because I am comfortable there.  I have spent a lot of time there and I know the staff well and also know the terrain well.  I knew how we could get in there without having difficulties getting me out of the car even though my disabled permit hadn't arrived yet.  About the only thing that I wasn't sure of was toilets.  I knew that the ones upstairs were a no go as there was a massive step to get into them that I had little chance of clearing on my own and the height of the toilets was probably too low especially without bars to assist in correct positioning to maintain the hip precautions.  I knew there were some downstairs (accessible by lift)  as well, but I wasn't sure what they were like either.  Google for once, let me down.  I didn't find what I was looking for.  It may not have been google's fault as the resource just might not be available.  How do people who have permanent conditions find out this kind of information?  Trial and error?  That seems absurd.  Is it even possible that one of the most popular coffee/dining areas in Brisbane doesn't have disabled toilets?  Surely they do somewhere?  I figured that they must and if they didn't, there was always McDonald's across Milton Road (After all of that worry, I didn't even use them and stupidly I didn't even check to find out exactly what was available).

We made it there around the time that we said that we would be there.  It takes me a lot longer to get organised at the moment.  Part of the problem is that it is easy to sit in the shower for long periods of time rather than have a quick shower to get ready.  The second issue are the Venosan socks that I still need to wear during the day.   I should have organised a 'sock helper' before now to assist the assistant helping me get these things on.  It's on my list to do over the weekend so that I can hopefully get something delivered early next week.  As they are heavy duty compression socks, they aren't the easiest things to get on.  With hip restrictions, they are even more difficult.  They are for a very good reason though, to reduce the likelihood of blood clots and for that reason we persist with them.  The third issue is trying to figure out all of the things that we needed to take with us that may or may not be required.  I reasoned that this was somewhat similar to trying to get a child out of the house and all of the things that they require.  It might not be as bad, though there were still a lot to consider.  We needed a pillow and a towel to try and adjust seating height so that I could sit and not break hip precautions, the wheelie walker in case this solution didn't end up being viable, another set of shoes in case the ones I decided to wear but haven't worn since the op didn't work out, tissues (yep I have managed somehow to get a freaking cold), medications, jumper and then the regular day to day items that you don't leave the house without.  In the end we made it and we had everything that we needed.

I had a mild case of anxiety as we were crossing the Captain Cook bridge and arriving at our destination.  As I got out of the car, someone I knew was walking through the car park and was a nice reminder that I was in a safe place.  I felt a little calmer as I got out of the lift and started to walk around the front past Alegria and saw more people that I knew having brunch.  The friends we were meeting with had already arrived and seating wasn't an issue once we had topped it up with the pillow and towel.  Quite comfortable actually!  There was no requirement to bring the wheelie walker out so I just used crutches which are not only more comfortable for me to use, but I feel better using them.  I know that there is no shame using a walker and if I had to I would, I just wanted to look like I was more well than that.

Brunch consisted of real coffee and a bacon and egg panino for me and was awesome.  Meds were taken with a sparkling mineral water chaser.  We were out for a few hours and then headed home.

On the way home I spoke to my sister who was in the city and asked her to go into the pharmacy for me.  She called while she was there so I could talk to the pharmacist to confirm what I could take to get rid of this cold.  Thankfully the blood thinners weren't an issue and hopefully I can stop suffering with the congestion and associated tiredness and step it up a little in the rehab.  She picked up some things for me and I had some cold tablets still at home that had the all clear so I had one of those and pretty much feel asleep straight away.  A few hours later, I woke up and felt a million times better.  I even did another round of step ups on the single stair outside (10 each side no vaulting) and feel pretty proud of that at the end of a big day.  My walking distance will be a bit lower today even with the outing as I haven't done as many laps around the house.  It probably balances out as far as energy usage goes and each day I do get a little more stamina to do more.