Today was the last day that I would be woken at 6:00am, 6:15am, 6:30am, 6:45am, 7:00am and 7:15am at which point I would usually be kicked out of bed. Hospitals are like alarm clocks set by some evil person for an ungodly hour with a snooze button that keeps going until you are forced out of bed. Going home day is exciting as well as a little bit daunting. I was pretty confident that I was ready for it, though it is hard to know how I'll be able to handle everything until I got here and settled into a routine again. I think it might take a few days to get to that point.
Prior to leaving the rehab doctor came passed to ask about the drama that we had last weekend. Since I was actually at the point of getting out of there, I didn't see the harm in talking about the issues that we had. I didn't really want to get into it while I was still there as I didn't want to have to deal with people that I have had issues with if they knew that I had made a complaint about them. The doctor wants to address issues like these when they happen so that they can be fixed. I understand what he was saying and had I been at a fully fit and independent state, I might have done so but having to still have to stay there and be reliant on these people, I really didn't want to rock the boat. They were still able to identify the bad advice nurse since I knew what day I blogged about it. I also told them about the 'good chance to be normal' comment and the other things that happened during the infamous physio session. I'm not sure if there will be further training or what the repercussions will be but thankfully I won't suffer any consequences for it. The doctor asked us to speak to the head of nursing about the issues as well, and she said that many people feel the same in relation to 'retribution' and fail to comment which doesn't help them improve the level of service provided. Apparently it doesn't happen but I can't see how it wouldn't change the way that the spoken to person would react the next time that they had to deal with me. Anyway it is all done now and I'm home!
On the way home we stopped past the mobility place and got the last couple of things that we needed for me at home. I am now equipped with a granny wheely walker so that I can carry things around the house, specifically the kitchen and have a perch stool to sit in while I'm in the kitchen. The main issue in the kitchen was that I am physically able to cook or make a cup of coffee or whatever it was, but I couldn't actually carry something out of the cupboard or the fridge as I am using both hands to use crutches. The wheely walker means that I have a tray to put things on and both hands are still on the walker while I am walking. Problem solved.
Stopping on the way home meant that I was in and out of the car twice which was an achievement. Getting home seemed like an even bigger one.
Showing posts with label Going Home. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Going Home. Show all posts
Friday, May 6, 2011
Thursday, May 5, 2011
27 Days Post Op: I am so outta here in the morning
Tomorrow is going home day and I have finished my in patient rehab program. The goals have been met and I will be able to cope with being at home. There is still work to be done to get where I want to be and that will be under the care of the fantastic people at Body Leadership Australia. I don't mean to sound like an advertisement, I just miss them and this change over point really marks achievement (as in I've learnt the things I need to learn to cope on the outside) and a change in philosophy for my rehabilitation program to one that I am more comfortable with and positive about.
The things that I have learnt / reinforced from this hospital stay are:
Private cover is worth every penny: I think that if I was in a shared room I would have gone absolutely crazy. I also think that public might have discharged me sooner than now when I wouldn't have been completely prepared to go home. (This is based on some of the horror stories that I heard over morning tea in the rehab gym - absolutely crazy - they weren't about Mater Public but even so)
Don't book in for major surgery a couple of weeks before Easter or other holiday period: Even if you think you are going to be out before the holiday period, don't risk it. Not as many services are available during holidays even in hospitals. I hadn't really thought that I would be in here this long though if I had of been asked before hand, I would have expected something like rehab in a rehab unit to be an essential service. Apparently it is not. Even in a Private Hospital. Disappointing huh?
People who complain about TEDs have never had to wear Venosans: TEDs are a walk in the park in comparison. The policy of my rehab doctor is TEDs for night, Venosans for day. I'm sure they are excellent at doing the job of keeping clots at bay and are no where near as much difficulty as a clot but it doesn't mean that I have to like them. I certainly don't like them being put on me. (Hip restrictions means I can't do it for myself either so there have been times where I've been flicked or there has been a part that is overlapped and digging in during the process of struggling to get them up my leg.
If the nurses have reason to ask you if you want a movicol, it's probably a good idea to take it. If you don't know what I am talking about, don't ask. I just hope that one day if you are asked you remember this piece of advice. Especially if you are being fed codeine.
If someone offers to bring you breakfast/lunch/dinner accept: Don't be a martyr. Too much hospital food has to kill you. It can't possibly be good for you. I have been told that this hospital has better food than the others in Brisbane. While this may be true, four weeks of it is far too much of it.
Stand up for yourself: You have to know what your medication is, what your treatment process is going to be and anything you are supposed to or not supposed to do and if anyone tells you otherwise, correct them. It could be dangerous not to know. People make mistakes. Don't be the one to suffer from them.
Accept that you can't do it all and accept help graciously: This is a hard lesson to learn for the independent and stubborn like me. I'm in hospital for a reason and that reason is stopping me from being the independent person that I am. I hate being reliant on others however that being said, I am grateful for those that helped me and didn't make me feel like I was a burden to them. I am especially grateful to my husband who helped me at least maintain some dignity and the little sanity that I have left. I could have done this without him and survived but I would have been somehow less me at the end of the process and very probably on anti-depressants and in worse physical shape. I don't know how people do things like this without the kind of support that I have and I hope that I never have to find out.
I'm probably still a little close to the situation since I'm still here so I may not have figured out yet all of the things that I have learnt out of this experience.
The things that I have learnt / reinforced from this hospital stay are:
Private cover is worth every penny: I think that if I was in a shared room I would have gone absolutely crazy. I also think that public might have discharged me sooner than now when I wouldn't have been completely prepared to go home. (This is based on some of the horror stories that I heard over morning tea in the rehab gym - absolutely crazy - they weren't about Mater Public but even so)
Don't book in for major surgery a couple of weeks before Easter or other holiday period: Even if you think you are going to be out before the holiday period, don't risk it. Not as many services are available during holidays even in hospitals. I hadn't really thought that I would be in here this long though if I had of been asked before hand, I would have expected something like rehab in a rehab unit to be an essential service. Apparently it is not. Even in a Private Hospital. Disappointing huh?
People who complain about TEDs have never had to wear Venosans: TEDs are a walk in the park in comparison. The policy of my rehab doctor is TEDs for night, Venosans for day. I'm sure they are excellent at doing the job of keeping clots at bay and are no where near as much difficulty as a clot but it doesn't mean that I have to like them. I certainly don't like them being put on me. (Hip restrictions means I can't do it for myself either so there have been times where I've been flicked or there has been a part that is overlapped and digging in during the process of struggling to get them up my leg.
If the nurses have reason to ask you if you want a movicol, it's probably a good idea to take it. If you don't know what I am talking about, don't ask. I just hope that one day if you are asked you remember this piece of advice. Especially if you are being fed codeine.
If someone offers to bring you breakfast/lunch/dinner accept: Don't be a martyr. Too much hospital food has to kill you. It can't possibly be good for you. I have been told that this hospital has better food than the others in Brisbane. While this may be true, four weeks of it is far too much of it.
Stand up for yourself: You have to know what your medication is, what your treatment process is going to be and anything you are supposed to or not supposed to do and if anyone tells you otherwise, correct them. It could be dangerous not to know. People make mistakes. Don't be the one to suffer from them.
Accept that you can't do it all and accept help graciously: This is a hard lesson to learn for the independent and stubborn like me. I'm in hospital for a reason and that reason is stopping me from being the independent person that I am. I hate being reliant on others however that being said, I am grateful for those that helped me and didn't make me feel like I was a burden to them. I am especially grateful to my husband who helped me at least maintain some dignity and the little sanity that I have left. I could have done this without him and survived but I would have been somehow less me at the end of the process and very probably on anti-depressants and in worse physical shape. I don't know how people do things like this without the kind of support that I have and I hope that I never have to find out.
I'm probably still a little close to the situation since I'm still here so I may not have figured out yet all of the things that I have learnt out of this experience.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
25 Days Post Op: The Home Visit
Today I got to go home for the first time in almost four weeks. I went for about an hour with an occupational therapist to check things out in anticipation of me getting out of here on Friday. My big achievements that were made today were getting in and out of a car twice, getting up my front stairs at home and getting up the inside stairs and out of the house twice. (We really were only going to do it once as the point of the exercise wasn't to practice multiple times, just to check out how to handle things - but nothing ever goes smoothly and there were of course issues with the alarm that had to be sorted out before we could leave - typical)
We have sorted out the shower chair and I have figured out a place to put the crutches so I can get them to get out and we also sorted out the raised toilet seat as the toilet was too low and I would have violated hip restrictions without the higher seat above it. These are the main two things that needed to be sorted out so that I can actually survive at home. Good news was that our bed is also the right height and the only thing we really need to sort out is another comfortable chair to sit in when I am up. We are going to look at one of those recliners that tips you out but I think we will need to go and actually look at some and see what is comfortable and high enough that doesn't dip back to much at the back of the seat. We'll get home first and worry about that one early next week.
I am becoming more confident on crutches and though it is tiring to walk around, my stamina is increasing and I think that is making the other hurdles a little easier to overcome. As my mobility is increasing, my hip flexors seem to be getting a little stronger as I am starting to see that there is a slight difference in the amount that I can lift my feet off the ground. Today I spoke with the Physio that will be in charge of managing operation awesome (bugger normal!) also known as my home program and once targets are met the ongoing maintenance program. It isn't going to be any problem at all to be re-assessed and an appropriate program written to strengthen up these stubborn little muscles that haven't yet joined the party. I am looking forward to working with the Body Leadership Team again as I really have missed working with those guys! Speaking of people I miss working with, I miss Pilates too - though that might be a little while before I am back to my usual schedule. I can at least do bridges now (pelvic curls) and they are slowly getting better even if I am a little way of my pre-surgery capability. It's unlikely that I will be using the bosu or a fit ball for a little while yet! It's a step at a time at the moment and I know that once I'm home and under expert guidance that I will be making those steps at the right time and maximising the benefits that I will receive from the new joints in the long term.
Pain meds were reduced today and so far I am going ok. The nights are the big test and those haven't been reduced yet so I am pretty confident that we are on the right path. Today was a big day and so far there isn't much pain. There is some muscle fatigue and aching though this is to be expected and isn't anything that is going to keep me awake. I am hoping that what I feel now continues to be the worst of it as it certainly is manageable at this level and the level of activity I can do before it gets to this level is significant enough to see progress.
After the excitement of this morning I had a quiet gym session this afternoon with the regular drills. We didn't do steps again today as there were probably as many today as the amount we did in practice yesterday. I'm sure we will be back on them tomorrow and in the 'fine tuning' mode to work on not using the grounded leg to provide the extra clearance space required by pushing up on the toes slightly. I'd guess and say I'm probably about an inch off that and I would expect to see that amount picked up in the next week.
All in all a good day with the slight exception of the possible cold germs that I may be carrying. It might just be the really dry air-conditioning that is drying my throat out and causing me to start to lose my voice. At least I hope that is all that it is and as soon as I am back in my regular environment everything will go back to normal.
It is time for sleep now. It has been a really long day. I hope I'm worn out enough to sleep in more than two hour blocks like last night. Fingers crossed!
I just figured out that since I don't have to stay here all Friday and today is already gone, the countdown was actually wrong. I only have two whole days left, Wednesday and Thursday!!
We have sorted out the shower chair and I have figured out a place to put the crutches so I can get them to get out and we also sorted out the raised toilet seat as the toilet was too low and I would have violated hip restrictions without the higher seat above it. These are the main two things that needed to be sorted out so that I can actually survive at home. Good news was that our bed is also the right height and the only thing we really need to sort out is another comfortable chair to sit in when I am up. We are going to look at one of those recliners that tips you out but I think we will need to go and actually look at some and see what is comfortable and high enough that doesn't dip back to much at the back of the seat. We'll get home first and worry about that one early next week.
I am becoming more confident on crutches and though it is tiring to walk around, my stamina is increasing and I think that is making the other hurdles a little easier to overcome. As my mobility is increasing, my hip flexors seem to be getting a little stronger as I am starting to see that there is a slight difference in the amount that I can lift my feet off the ground. Today I spoke with the Physio that will be in charge of managing operation awesome (bugger normal!) also known as my home program and once targets are met the ongoing maintenance program. It isn't going to be any problem at all to be re-assessed and an appropriate program written to strengthen up these stubborn little muscles that haven't yet joined the party. I am looking forward to working with the Body Leadership Team again as I really have missed working with those guys! Speaking of people I miss working with, I miss Pilates too - though that might be a little while before I am back to my usual schedule. I can at least do bridges now (pelvic curls) and they are slowly getting better even if I am a little way of my pre-surgery capability. It's unlikely that I will be using the bosu or a fit ball for a little while yet! It's a step at a time at the moment and I know that once I'm home and under expert guidance that I will be making those steps at the right time and maximising the benefits that I will receive from the new joints in the long term.
Pain meds were reduced today and so far I am going ok. The nights are the big test and those haven't been reduced yet so I am pretty confident that we are on the right path. Today was a big day and so far there isn't much pain. There is some muscle fatigue and aching though this is to be expected and isn't anything that is going to keep me awake. I am hoping that what I feel now continues to be the worst of it as it certainly is manageable at this level and the level of activity I can do before it gets to this level is significant enough to see progress.
After the excitement of this morning I had a quiet gym session this afternoon with the regular drills. We didn't do steps again today as there were probably as many today as the amount we did in practice yesterday. I'm sure we will be back on them tomorrow and in the 'fine tuning' mode to work on not using the grounded leg to provide the extra clearance space required by pushing up on the toes slightly. I'd guess and say I'm probably about an inch off that and I would expect to see that amount picked up in the next week.
All in all a good day with the slight exception of the possible cold germs that I may be carrying. It might just be the really dry air-conditioning that is drying my throat out and causing me to start to lose my voice. At least I hope that is all that it is and as soon as I am back in my regular environment everything will go back to normal.
It is time for sleep now. It has been a really long day. I hope I'm worn out enough to sleep in more than two hour blocks like last night. Fingers crossed!
I just figured out that since I don't have to stay here all Friday and today is already gone, the countdown was actually wrong. I only have two whole days left, Wednesday and Thursday!!
Monday, May 2, 2011
24 Days Post Op: 4 Days to go in Rehab
Today is the first day that I have been able to consistently get my feet in and out of bed. Last night I didn't have to buzz for help to get out of bed which was completely awesome. I also had too many chances to practice last night as I was pretty restless and was up four or five times. Part of being able to do this is down to the fact that they forgot to lock me in for the night by putting the side rails up on my bed (they got two late transfers from another ward and were rushed of their feet - so I smiled and nodded and didn't remind them!). Even though I had mastered the in and out of bed thing, I would have still required assistance as you can't actually put the rails down when you are in the bed unless you are able to contort yourself over the side and lift a latch to do so which I really can't as to get to where it is placed would violate my hip precautions.
This really was the last thing on my absolutely must do goals list before I can go home. The extra couple of days is going to be good to solidify the progress and start to put a new plan in place as to what I want to achieve next. I'll need to talk to my real Physio about that one and put a proper home plan in place so that I am maximising the results that I achieve.
I also had real food smuggled in for me today again. It was awesome. I miss real food and am counting down the hours until I can have it all of the time. I'm not sure what my nutrition has been like while I've been here but do doubt that the meals are nutritionally balanced and designed for optimum health. If they are, they certainly don't taste like it. Having said that, dinner just arrived and actually looks ok. The broccoli and carrots look real. I might just eat those! I still need a few more vitamins and minerals to help with the healing.
The rehab assistant turned up as we were finishing eating to take me for a walk which I politely declined opting to walk with my guests today. It still surprises me that they have asked considering that I haven't received that level of attention on holidays before today with them expecting my husband to assist. I wonder what has prompted the changes. It is a little bit too late really given that I am going home in just a few days.
I had an interesting talk to a registrar today that will be presenting my case as a case study for his physician's exams. It seems that emotional responses to chronic illness now feature as part of a patient assessment. I'm not sure when this cropped up in the medical process but I am glad that it did and I hope that it filters throughout the medical profession as this seems to be where a big void was when I was diagnosed. There seems to be more information sharing these days as well, making patients more informed about the medical process and what is going to happen. It isn't completely there yet, google still helps (and probably hinders in a number of occasions) and the number of reputable medical resources online are growing. Take Mr McMinn's site as an example of valuable medical information in relation to the procedure that I have had done. My surgeon pointed me in this direction to find out more about the process and the prostheses which is something that couldn't and wouldn't have been done a decade ago.
Tomorrow is my home visit and I'm a little nervous about getting in and out of the car. It's not something that I have done before and I'm not sure how I'll go. It's something that I wish we could have tried before the actual day though there is no real way to do this without them actually organising a car and bringing it to the front of the building where the patient transfer vans pull up. I have to decide tomorrow whether or not I should organise an ambulance to get me home or whether we should go in the car. I'm leaning towards patient transport to get in the first time. It also means that even though I can get up the front steps, I won't need to be able to get up them that day as I will be stretchered in and will actually be able to do some more work on building strength and mobility and be both physically and mentally prepared before we go out into the real world. I'm a little bit worried about going out too early and not being strong enough to hold my own. At the moment my pace is more than slow and the idea of being pushed around scares the living daylights out of me. I'm sure like my progress so far, things will come together and I will know when it is going to be ok and until then, I'll at least be in the comfort of my own home.
I suppose it isn't surprising that I have new anxieties as the next change to my situation changes. I have to keep reminding myself that it was a massive surgery and progress isn't going to be immediate. Apparently the mood swings are quite a normal part of the whole process. For some reason it came up when I was talking to the rehab doctor today and he wasn't overly concerned and reminded me that I have had a major surgery and there will be emotional ups and downs as I get through the rehabilitation process. I have been reasonably even the last 48 hours and I'm hoping to at least get through until I get home before something else sets me off. The disparity between what the appropriate emotional response is to a catalyst to what actually happens is lessening but there is still a way to go yet. I'm not sure I made the right decision in not following up my request to speak to a social worker or not. I'm sure that I will work through these issues, just not sure if I should have sought more help to get there. I guess I will see how I cope when I'm in my own environment again and just keep an eye on the mood swings and enlist the help of friends to give me the heads up if I start to head too far into a slump. It's important that I keep a positive attitude to speed up the recovery process.
I'm still hoping that I will meet my end of June goals though right now I can't imagine walking without a mobility aid. It's crazy that I can't because only a few days ago I couldn't imagine getting my feet into bed. I really shouldn't have these hangups as my progress should be proving to me that I am on the right path. I guess that's really why the physio upset me on Saturday. Even though I really didn't have doubts that I would get there eventually, I still can't imagine progressing that far and I didn't like being told that I just had a 'good chance' as it's made me actively think about the little things that are niggling at the corners of my mind as the main part tries to stay positive and focused on what needs to be done.
This really was the last thing on my absolutely must do goals list before I can go home. The extra couple of days is going to be good to solidify the progress and start to put a new plan in place as to what I want to achieve next. I'll need to talk to my real Physio about that one and put a proper home plan in place so that I am maximising the results that I achieve.
I also had real food smuggled in for me today again. It was awesome. I miss real food and am counting down the hours until I can have it all of the time. I'm not sure what my nutrition has been like while I've been here but do doubt that the meals are nutritionally balanced and designed for optimum health. If they are, they certainly don't taste like it. Having said that, dinner just arrived and actually looks ok. The broccoli and carrots look real. I might just eat those! I still need a few more vitamins and minerals to help with the healing.
The rehab assistant turned up as we were finishing eating to take me for a walk which I politely declined opting to walk with my guests today. It still surprises me that they have asked considering that I haven't received that level of attention on holidays before today with them expecting my husband to assist. I wonder what has prompted the changes. It is a little bit too late really given that I am going home in just a few days.
I had an interesting talk to a registrar today that will be presenting my case as a case study for his physician's exams. It seems that emotional responses to chronic illness now feature as part of a patient assessment. I'm not sure when this cropped up in the medical process but I am glad that it did and I hope that it filters throughout the medical profession as this seems to be where a big void was when I was diagnosed. There seems to be more information sharing these days as well, making patients more informed about the medical process and what is going to happen. It isn't completely there yet, google still helps (and probably hinders in a number of occasions) and the number of reputable medical resources online are growing. Take Mr McMinn's site as an example of valuable medical information in relation to the procedure that I have had done. My surgeon pointed me in this direction to find out more about the process and the prostheses which is something that couldn't and wouldn't have been done a decade ago.
Tomorrow is my home visit and I'm a little nervous about getting in and out of the car. It's not something that I have done before and I'm not sure how I'll go. It's something that I wish we could have tried before the actual day though there is no real way to do this without them actually organising a car and bringing it to the front of the building where the patient transfer vans pull up. I have to decide tomorrow whether or not I should organise an ambulance to get me home or whether we should go in the car. I'm leaning towards patient transport to get in the first time. It also means that even though I can get up the front steps, I won't need to be able to get up them that day as I will be stretchered in and will actually be able to do some more work on building strength and mobility and be both physically and mentally prepared before we go out into the real world. I'm a little bit worried about going out too early and not being strong enough to hold my own. At the moment my pace is more than slow and the idea of being pushed around scares the living daylights out of me. I'm sure like my progress so far, things will come together and I will know when it is going to be ok and until then, I'll at least be in the comfort of my own home.
I suppose it isn't surprising that I have new anxieties as the next change to my situation changes. I have to keep reminding myself that it was a massive surgery and progress isn't going to be immediate. Apparently the mood swings are quite a normal part of the whole process. For some reason it came up when I was talking to the rehab doctor today and he wasn't overly concerned and reminded me that I have had a major surgery and there will be emotional ups and downs as I get through the rehabilitation process. I have been reasonably even the last 48 hours and I'm hoping to at least get through until I get home before something else sets me off. The disparity between what the appropriate emotional response is to a catalyst to what actually happens is lessening but there is still a way to go yet. I'm not sure I made the right decision in not following up my request to speak to a social worker or not. I'm sure that I will work through these issues, just not sure if I should have sought more help to get there. I guess I will see how I cope when I'm in my own environment again and just keep an eye on the mood swings and enlist the help of friends to give me the heads up if I start to head too far into a slump. It's important that I keep a positive attitude to speed up the recovery process.
I'm still hoping that I will meet my end of June goals though right now I can't imagine walking without a mobility aid. It's crazy that I can't because only a few days ago I couldn't imagine getting my feet into bed. I really shouldn't have these hangups as my progress should be proving to me that I am on the right path. I guess that's really why the physio upset me on Saturday. Even though I really didn't have doubts that I would get there eventually, I still can't imagine progressing that far and I didn't like being told that I just had a 'good chance' as it's made me actively think about the little things that are niggling at the corners of my mind as the main part tries to stay positive and focused on what needs to be done.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
15 Days Post Op: Mini Meltdown
Since I wrote yesterday, I've been a bit down. It's not as bad as it was on a few of the days in the 'missing week' though that period of time was intensified due to low haemoglobin and adverse drug reactions and that isn't a reason to disregard it anymore. I have to take ownership of how I feel this time and nothing is going to be a quick fix. I guess I just have to think about what it is that is actually the issue and work out what I can do to either fix it or get over it. I am probably being a little hard on myself but that wouldn't be completely out of character. I had high expectations pre-op which were probably a little stupid. I don't necessarily think that I was naive enough to think it would be easy. I just thought it would be easier than what it actually is.
I've had a bit of a think about why last night and today have been more difficult emotionally than normal and I have a couple of ideas. I'd say a big part of the reason is that the rehab gym is pretty much closed for the duration of the public holidays with only one session on this morning. I seem to find it more difficult to keep it together without the external validation from the Physios who are adding things to my program as I am progressing. (Just telling my I'm doing great doesn't work - it sounds just like something that is said to make me feel better with no underlying truth - I need to see the progress and have someone else see enough of it to professionally say that I am ready to move forward.) Another part is frustration setting in as I struggle to do the most simple of tasks like get my own feet out of bed without assistance (which I haven't managed to do yet). Being in hospital is isolating as well. Normally I have a choice as to whether I want to be social or hibernate and this isn't really a choice that I have right now and I don't have the interaction that I normally do with people I know and I'm struggling a little with this too. It could also have a little to do with the change in general routine from being a night person to being woken at six in the morning every day. Or maybe even partly the food which I am pretty much sick of especially after so many weeks pre-op eating a healthy diet full of fresh food. Or even a little bit of worry about how much longer it is going to be before I can work again and have the income coming in, or how long it will be before I no longer rely so much on my husband to help me so that he can go back to work.
Yesterday I was on my own at the bar outside my hospital room running through the exercises myself while my husband watched on to make sure that I didn't fall over or do anything stupid like that. I'll need to do this again this afternoon as well since the gym was only open this morning. I'm not sure there is enough in my ward program to progress while the physios are away. I'll have to increase the duration and repetitions and hope that this helps.
I didn't really feel any progress today and have started to wonder just how long I might be stuck in this place before any sense of normality returns to my world and I can at least be at home. I hadn't planned on being here this long and had expected to be at home today based on the information that I was given pre-operatively. The estimate of seven to ten days that is typical for one hip has been blown out of the water. I had in my head that it would likely be two weeks though I hadn't considered that I might be looking at three or more. Even when I wrote an email to one of the businesses that I do some contracting work for telling them that I would need the backup to stay in place for another couple of weeks, I still didn't really consider that I might actually be in here for a month.
Last night it sank in. If I'm not starting on crutches yet and can't lift my feet more than an inch or so from the ground I'm not likely to make the end of next week. I'll keep working on it and maybe we will see some leaps and bounds that aren't expected, though I don't want to get my heart set on it especially when
I feel a bit low still today about the whole thing. I miss my life, even as it was with the daily arthritis pain. I know that I couldn't have gone on indefinitely like that and logically I know that this really is the only decision that could be made and now really was the only time to do it, but that doesn't help at the moment. It's probably just a bit all too much at the moment and hopefully it is a phase that I can kick myself out of and get on with it. I do know that at some point in the near future I will be able to look back and the gains that I have had will have made this all worthwhile. I just want to be closer to that day and further away from this one. In the meantime, I guess I just have to keep faking it until I make it.
Today was better than yesterday.
Tomorrow will be better than today.
I will be home soon.
This process will be a distant memory soon.
Life will be better once I get stronger.
I've had a bit of a think about why last night and today have been more difficult emotionally than normal and I have a couple of ideas. I'd say a big part of the reason is that the rehab gym is pretty much closed for the duration of the public holidays with only one session on this morning. I seem to find it more difficult to keep it together without the external validation from the Physios who are adding things to my program as I am progressing. (Just telling my I'm doing great doesn't work - it sounds just like something that is said to make me feel better with no underlying truth - I need to see the progress and have someone else see enough of it to professionally say that I am ready to move forward.) Another part is frustration setting in as I struggle to do the most simple of tasks like get my own feet out of bed without assistance (which I haven't managed to do yet). Being in hospital is isolating as well. Normally I have a choice as to whether I want to be social or hibernate and this isn't really a choice that I have right now and I don't have the interaction that I normally do with people I know and I'm struggling a little with this too. It could also have a little to do with the change in general routine from being a night person to being woken at six in the morning every day. Or maybe even partly the food which I am pretty much sick of especially after so many weeks pre-op eating a healthy diet full of fresh food. Or even a little bit of worry about how much longer it is going to be before I can work again and have the income coming in, or how long it will be before I no longer rely so much on my husband to help me so that he can go back to work.
Yesterday I was on my own at the bar outside my hospital room running through the exercises myself while my husband watched on to make sure that I didn't fall over or do anything stupid like that. I'll need to do this again this afternoon as well since the gym was only open this morning. I'm not sure there is enough in my ward program to progress while the physios are away. I'll have to increase the duration and repetitions and hope that this helps.
I didn't really feel any progress today and have started to wonder just how long I might be stuck in this place before any sense of normality returns to my world and I can at least be at home. I hadn't planned on being here this long and had expected to be at home today based on the information that I was given pre-operatively. The estimate of seven to ten days that is typical for one hip has been blown out of the water. I had in my head that it would likely be two weeks though I hadn't considered that I might be looking at three or more. Even when I wrote an email to one of the businesses that I do some contracting work for telling them that I would need the backup to stay in place for another couple of weeks, I still didn't really consider that I might actually be in here for a month.
Last night it sank in. If I'm not starting on crutches yet and can't lift my feet more than an inch or so from the ground I'm not likely to make the end of next week. I'll keep working on it and maybe we will see some leaps and bounds that aren't expected, though I don't want to get my heart set on it especially when
I feel a bit low still today about the whole thing. I miss my life, even as it was with the daily arthritis pain. I know that I couldn't have gone on indefinitely like that and logically I know that this really is the only decision that could be made and now really was the only time to do it, but that doesn't help at the moment. It's probably just a bit all too much at the moment and hopefully it is a phase that I can kick myself out of and get on with it. I do know that at some point in the near future I will be able to look back and the gains that I have had will have made this all worthwhile. I just want to be closer to that day and further away from this one. In the meantime, I guess I just have to keep faking it until I make it.
Today was better than yesterday.
Tomorrow will be better than today.
I will be home soon.
This process will be a distant memory soon.
Life will be better once I get stronger.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
13 Days Post Op: Surgical Dressings Removed
This morning the rehab doctor decided it was time to remove my surgical dressings as I am healing well. I have some photographs though I'm not yet sure that I particularly want to show that much of my upper thigh and bottom to the world :). I'll think on that and decide another time. The wounds are a little longer than I estimated, mostly because I really couldn't see them. They would be approximately 12 inches long. They don't hurt, I just feel some pulling when I move which is pretty normal. There are little pieces of tape across the wound that sit side by side down the length that will apparently just fall off when they are ready. The tape might even be part of what the pulling sensation is.
We also discussed going home. The target for now is next Friday. I still have a lot of work to do and the doctor seems confident that it is a reasonable goal. There will be an assessment of this on Wednesday after all of the public holidays to see that we are on target. The rehab gym is closed a lot in that time, so I am hoping that there will be enough Physios for me to get the assistance that I need to meet the progression targets in the next five days. Each day my routine increases, I just hope it's enough!
We also discussed going home. The target for now is next Friday. I still have a lot of work to do and the doctor seems confident that it is a reasonable goal. There will be an assessment of this on Wednesday after all of the public holidays to see that we are on target. The rehab gym is closed a lot in that time, so I am hoping that there will be enough Physios for me to get the assistance that I need to meet the progression targets in the next five days. Each day my routine increases, I just hope it's enough!
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