Differences in Me

People who haven't seen me in a few weeks are commenting on differences.
I feel different.  I just wasn't sure that translated into something more visible to the outside world.  Something positive.  My pilates / physio team can see the difference and are working with me to push the boundaries even further out.  That's exciting.  I'm not sure if exciting is the right word.  Awe is a little closer.  Maybe wonder?  Or maybe it's just the anticipation.  Kind of like that anticipation that you get before Christmas as a child - wondering what Santa might bring.

I'm starting to notice that I'm just more comfortable in my body.  It feels like it's doing what it's supposed to do.  The getting up and down off the ground is the biggest thing for me.  It's something that I don't remember ever doing - it opens up a whole lot of things that I've never really done before.

Sometimes I catch myself with the realisation that something that I've done for a long time is just that little bit easier.
My knees are coping a little bit better.
Swelling on my knees and ankles is reducing (and I can't recall it ever having done that)
Sometimes I'm just bouncy.

Last Friday, I went to a meditation class.  Something that I never would have done before.  How could I?  I'm sure there are some that would have accommodated my lack of ability to get down to the floor, though that isn't something that I would ever have wanted.  I've never wanted to be seen to be different or require special assistance.  It was always better not to participate - not to let people know - not to be a burden - not to let anyone see weakness - maybe a touch of pride.

There have been a few people that I've spoken to about this big thing.  Some don't see it as such a big thing.  I guess the novelty of knowing someone that has had both hips replaced has worn off and my achievements aren't that exciting for them anymore.  I kind of wonder if they ever were.  It's ok though.  I don't need that external validation.  I feel good.  It can be lonely at times when there isn't someone to talk to about what is going on with me but it's something that I'm ok with.  I'm ok with it because I don't know where this is going to take me but I'm looking forward to finding out.