Sleep In Saturday

I didn't really get out of bed this morning.  It was after twelve by the time I decided that I was too hungry to nap anymore and needed some breakfast.  I wasn't home too late last night and there was only one glass of red wine but I have been paying for it all day!  It has been a full week and there were a few nights there where I didn't sleep well, so it isn't too surprising that I needed to catch up on some snooze time.

Last night I went out with some of the people that I used to work with.  As I was getting ready to go out, I figured that I might give boots a go.  Last winter I couldn't wear them unless I had some help to do the zippers up.  The zipper runs down the inside of the leg right to the sole of the shoe near the arch.  Pre-op I couldn't reach that.  I managed to get tights on and my boots which I was pretty pleased by.  I did joke to my sister that I might need her to come around this morning if I couldn't get them off when I got home last night.  As I headed out, I really wasn't sure if would be able to get them off when I got home but I wasn't too concerned about that.  I've slept in my shoes before after a night out and overdone it.  Things can only get better from here on in so it was worth a try.

It was good to catch up.  Everyone has gone on to do different things and has new stories about the things they are doing.  It would be awesome if there was a project in the future that we could all work on again.  We had a really good team there.  It really is a shame that it all ended.  Sitting around talking about the good old days is surely a sign that I'm getting older.  This was a very quiet night for this crowd.  Likely another sign that we are getting old.  It was a good night.  We should do this more often.  Life just gets busy and moves on to different things.  I'm not quite sure what mine is moving on to.

Progress Update

This morning I got out of the pool using the steps.  This wasn't something that I could do pre-op so it's a pretty big step (literally and figuratively!).  I led with the left which is the side with the greater range.  I did need to pull up a little with my arms until my right foot was about 30 cm from the pool floor.  From that point on, there was more weight through the left leg to bring the right side up.  I went up step at a time with the same side so the next goal will be to alternate and then to start with the right leg up.

Next week I'm going to start pilates again.  I was cleared by my physio to do this a couple of weeks ago but I wasn't quite ready for the getting up and down off the floor.  The actual exercises I was and am looking forward to.   It means that I'll probably miss out on hydro for a week or two while I realign all my appointment times to fit everything in.  I'll still go to the pool on its new day - it will just be on my own until everything fits together properly.

Cooking Dinner

About six weeks pre-op, I increased the amount of vegetables that I was eating in an effort to make sure that I was getting all of the vitamins and minerals that my body would need going into surgery.  I got bloods taken about a month before to confirm that everything was looking good.  Even though this wasn't a big concern to anyone but me, making sure that my body was as healthy as it could be just made sense.  I've always been a big fan of fresh food and I made the time to make sure that I was eating well every day.

I didn't eat this well while I was in hospital as they don't really cook with a large selection of anything fresh.  It was something that I really looked forward to coming home for.  Since I've been home, I'm getting back to my pre-op eating habits.  My favourite at the moment is a lot of stir fried vegetables with bean thread noodles.

One of the things that I missed out on yesterday was the stir fry that I had planned for dinner.  Since last week's market run wasn't very successful, I was craving a good fresh mix of vegetables and when I missed them on Friday night, they moved to Saturday.  That's actually a lot of days for me not to have a fix.   Now that it is winter, the selection is less and the quality isn't as good.  This week's shopping expedition was actually quite successful and I managed to get a good selection.



The interesting thing that I found when I was out shopping were purple carrots. I thought that I would give them a go as apparently they are the new super food.  I'm not sure where I heard that and even if it isn't completely true, I'm a big fan of using as many colours of vegetables as I can when I'm making stir fry.  They feature front and centre in the veges that I pulled out to cook dinner with tonight.   I was a little surprised when I cut them to see the white rings.  I'm not quite sure what I expected.  They taste like orange carrots.  More like baby carrots than the larger ones.  They are a quite sweet.

I used the cutter that I normally do when I add carrot to stir fry.  It kinds of cuts them like little noodles.  I added some regular carrot in as well just to see how different that they tasted after they had been cooked.  I used chilli, garlic, ginger, soy and oyster sauce as I often do at the moment.  I'm a huge fan of bean vermicelli as well which I added in.  The weird thing is that the carrots released more liquid than orange carrots do and it turned the sauce a bit purple.  My noodles also ended up a bit purple too.  

The whole thing was just a little bit too sweet.  I'm not sure if I overcooked them, used too much or just needed more chilli and soy to balance the flavour.  I have leftovers for tomorrow that I might try to fix as I don't think that I want it again as it is.   It will be interesting to see how the flavours come through overnight.  It might be even sweeter tomorrow.  I hope not!  If it doesn't work out this time, I have two more still in the fridge so I can try again from scratch later in the week.

[Edit:  I recooked with extra chilli and garlic and it took away enough of the sweetness.  Noodles and mushrooms were very purple today]

Recovery Day

The post that was made yesterday was written on Friday morning after I read the RA Guy's post and was scheduled to post.  I was going to check it before it went out but I ended up doing very little yesterday except for sleep for most of day.

Friday was a big day.  I started off with Hydro and stayed in the pool for an extra 45 minutes after the end of my session.  I had to pick up a computer in town and then I headed home to read email, news and blogs and wrote a few comments like my post.  By the afternoon I was out doing grocery shopping.  This time, I went to the supermarket that was a longer walk from the car park to the store and only used the cane.  I was pretty tired by the time that I got home and hadn't expected to go out again.  There was a tentative plan to go to my sister's house to see her wedding dress that had just arrived, though I had expected that it would move to Sunday as when we had spoken about it, that seemed to be the preferred option.  This isn't how it worked out and I was out again very shortly after getting home.

The peak hour traffic south was pretty bad and a trip that would normally take about 20 minutes ended up taking more than twice as long.  The trip was ok and I was fine with the stairs to her apartment.  I had one of my niece-to-be's help carry things up the stairs but I think that I would have done that anyway even if I wasn't still sporting my cane.  The dress is perfect and my sister looks like the perfect bride.  I'd love to post a pic since I'm sure you would all agree that she looks perfect but that would be just wrong.  It's starting to get exciting now.  I just hope that everyone behaves themselves.  Weddings don't always bring out the best in people.  I'm not really up for arguments yet and tell people they are out of line.  I will though, if it that's what needs to be done to keep them in line and behave themselves.

There is still about 8 weeks to go until the wedding by which point I need to be walking without a limp.  I'm pretty sure that it is an achievable goal to halve that.  I've been practicing my walking every day.

Practicing walking is different than actual walking.  Practising means concentrating on everything to get everything right.  Even when I'm concentrating really hard, it's not quite there yet.  I guess that once I get it right, I'll have to practice wedding walking.  I don't want to confuse my brain too much too soon.

I got home by about 8:30pm and was pretty wrecked by then.  I was overtired though and didn't go straight to bed.  It took a while to wind down before I finally passed out.  That led into a whole day of naps as I got back on top of it.

Unified Healthcare

The RA Guy

I read an awesome blog post on the RA Guy's blog called: Rheumatoid Arthritis Healing Center.    It's an old post definitely worth revisiting.  The key idea I love about in this post is that all your health professionals are in one place and work together to help you have the best possible life all in a spa like setting combining the traditional medical appointment with your rheumatologist  with everything else that can make a difference; yoga, acupuncture, Physio, hydro, support groups, psychologists, doctors in other specialties and more.  The list was pretty comprehensive and the only thing I can think of to add is Pilates as it's something that has made a big difference for me.

I think that bringing all of the health professionals together like this would be awesome.  The people that would choose to work in this kind of environment would be ones that I would want to see.  People who understand that it isn't going to be just the medicine that is going to help.  Healthcare is slowly changing and the professionals that I have found to work with have been great.  For a long time and for a lot of doctors that I have seen anything out of the ordinary is seen as 'new fangled hippy rubbish' that doesn't do anything.  I once had a rheumatologist remark that the physio treatment I was receiving probably wasn't doing anything for me.  I was pretty upset by that as I when I came to him I was so happy with the increases to the range of movement that I was seeing and the improvement in my overall health and wellbeing, I couldn't believe that he would discount the effectiveness of the treatment.  Seriously, even if it was all in my head, what was the harm?  Why criticise? He went on to tell me that I couldn't afford to put on any weight and I pretty well had no options to improve my quality of life.  I found another specialist.  Thankfully, not all doctors are in the stone age. The team that I eventually found is one that I would expect to fit in to this concept quite well.

Attitudes are changing and it isn't just health professionals that need to come to the party.  We do too.  Having a community centre like feel will help visitors to maybe explore other services that will help them reach their full potential.  All aspects of life and body maintenance in one place is an awesome way to kick start the process.  The alternative is to spend years finding them which is something many don't have the confidence or resources to do.

The RA Guy has since updated his concept and posted it on his blog at: Autoimmune Wellness Center.  There is even a picture of what it might look like.  Check it out.  I'm sure you'll like it as much as I do.

Do you think that I could jog 5K?

Not now - that would be a pretty daft idea.  I can't even walk properly yet and my femurs aren't up to the impact of running.  It's off the list for at least a year.  Some argue that femurs are finished healing six months but I don't think it is worth the risk.

So maybe, September next year?
Bridge to Brisbane
I've never done anything like that before.  I'm not even sure I like running.  There is a possibility I could though.  I don't think I'll get into marathon running or anything like that.  Every now and then I hear of some activity that one of my friends is going to do and I think, maybe I could do that.

This is a very new experience for me.  I'm not quite sure what to make of it.

Bilateral Hip Replacement Recovery Time and Answers to this Week's Search Terms

So you came here looking to find out just how long it takes?

The answer is:   well it all depends...  not really what you were looking for?  Probably not!
 I'm not completely there yet but I am back at work part time and a lot of my day to day activities are at a similar level to what they were pre-op.  The limiting factor now is fatigue rather than pain and as time progresses the fatigue is reducing.

The big thing that I have learnt through this process is that everyone is different.  People heal at different rates dependent on so many different factors.  I've read so many stories of single hip recoveries and the variances in those are incredible.  Some people are off and walking without a cane in a week, while others are in excess of eight weeks.  Bilateral just makes the variables in the process increase as there are two hips to consider.  I've heard stories of bilateral resurfacing that are better than ever within a month.  I think that a lot of it depends on how fit / strong / healthy you are pre-op as to how quickly you bounce back.

Not everyone is offered the opportunity to get both hips done at once.  This option is at the surgeon's discretion and will be based on how he/she determines you well you do.  Some surgeon's don't do them.  Their reasons for not doing both?  I don't know.  I could guess, though that's all it would be, a guess.  It is a longer surgery and would have more risk associated with it.   Some might weigh this against the risk of going under twice.

As you would have read in some of my earlier posts, I really do believe that the more you can do to 'train' for the procedure, the better your post-op results will be and how rehabilitation will go.  I've referred to it as prehab and pre-op preparation and for me this included diet, physio, exercise and mental preparedness.

Things didn't go exactly to plan for me but things could have been a whole lot worse if I hadn't made changes in my life to prepare for this surgery.

Another term that I've seen pop up in the search terms today is "hip replacement game".  I'm not exactly sure what that is and wouldn't think that it would be a very fun game to play.

"physiofirst", well yes I did but I'm not sure whether that was the point of the search.  If you are looking for Physios who can help you pre-op and post-op to get the best possible outcomes, I'd suggest the team at Body Leadership.  The bias I have for them has been earned through years of helping have the best life I can possibly have.  I'll keep plugging them because I believe in them and the difference that they can make in your life as well as mine.

This leads into "planning bilateral hip replacement".  The most important things that you can do is find a great physio who can help you create a pre-op program to help you get the best outcomes possible.   A healthy diet should also be a part of your pre-op planning to make sure that all your vitamins and minerals are in healthy ranges.

Getting all of the 'housekeeping' type things out of the way before you go into hospital is usually a good idea.  You aren't going to feel like sorting out your taxes when you get home.  I also got all of my insurances in order and made sure everything was up to date.  This was more me being having an irrational desire to have everything in its place.  I think it was something to focus on instead of what was going to happen.

I'm still getting queries about the four corners piece on MOM implants.  I have commented on this before but recently I have expanded on the earlier thoughts and posted the following on a website after someone referred to this 'terrifying documentary on BHRs' lumping in the Birmingham device with others that are not in that league.

I have MOM devices, specifically the BMHR. I discussed the MOM issues with my surgeon and did a lot of research before finalising this as an option for me. The program focused on the ASR recall, and this should not be used as a basis for all MOM implants as there are many that have been highly successful.

I would suggest reading Mr McMinn's response to the ABC Four Corners program at: http://www.mcminncentre.co.uk/response-abc-corners-program.html as well as the other information on his site that shows his successes with a well placed, well designed MOM implant. There are many reasons to consider this as an alternative to THR if you are a suitable candidate, for example these devices are far more bone conserving and will make later revision easier for younger patients who are likely to require revision as some point down the track. As an example, I am 34 and even if I do get 20 - 30 years out of my BMHR's, I'm still looking at revision at 54 - 64.

Even for THRs, MOM implants allow less restriction to patients activities post operatively which is a huge benefit to active people.

Rumour has it that McMinn has started working with ceramic BMHR's for patients with metal allergies. If you are in the UK, I would seriously consider checking this out as even though they are new, McMinn's stats on his other devices are exceptional, including those that were done many years ago when they were new.

Cup placement is a huge factor in the success of MOM implants and research shows that those with a steep angle have a higher instance of edge loading and wear. It is imperative to seek out a highly skilled surgeon in this process. The site http://surfacehippy.info has a list of surgeons with 500+ surgeries with excellent statistics to consider talking to if you want more information on this procedure. There aren't too many listed for Australia. If you are in Brisbane, I can highly recommend Dr Simon Journeaux at Mater. He practices both publicly and privately. I went private so I'm not sure of what the wait times are like to see him publicly.

I really want a bath!

I'm just not sure that it would be the best idea.  I don't have anyone here to help fish me out if I get stuck at the moment.  I'm not even sure if I could sit in it at the moment.  It's a bit shorter than I'd like - so it's probably not worth the hassle even if I could get out.

I saw one of these walk-in bath tubs in the TV guide when I was in the hospital and am dreaming about it right now. Amazon has them and they aren't cheap:  American Standard 2848.100.WRW 28-Inch by 48-Inch Walk-In Bath Whirlpool System, Right Side Drain, White


I think I could find a pretty awesome jacuzzi for that.  It's not really in the budget but I can dream!



I'm going to the pool tomorrow so that will have to do.  It's not the same though.

[Edit] I realised about 3 hours after I posted this that it was actually the 100th post of this blog.  The 100th post really should have been reserved for something insightful, thought provoking and just awesome.  Oh well...  Maybe for the 1000th post?  Maybe I can get one in a little earlier and make 250 the next big milestone!

Your Questions Answered!

If you've ever had a question that you wanted to ask, now is the time to ask it.  If I can get enough questions sent to me either as replies to my posts or by email, twitter (lmcia) or any other social media, I might make this a regular event.  There aren't any stupid questions.  I'll try to answer everything I get sent.

How high is the chair you have to sit on at work and how long are you sitting at any one time?
They are height adjustable chairs, so I make sure that I have them adjusted so that my feet sit flat on the floor.  I'm most comfortable when my hip angle is just a little bit less than ninety degrees.  I think this is habit after many years sitting this way so my body feels most comfortable in that position.

I should be getting up and walking around each hour and that would probably be about right when I am in the office as I get a little uncomfortable sitting in one position.  This could be the chairs in the office or  me, I'm not sure.

When I'm at home, I sit with my feet up in a recliner chair with my laptop so I sometimes sit for longer than an hour working away.  I usually have to get up for something every hour or so anyway.  Sometimes it's to get more papers to get some work done, other times it's for a drink or something to snack on.  Sometimes it's just to move around.

Do you have trouble walking after you have been sitting for a long time?
I do limp a little bit more when I first stand up.  It usually takes me a few steps to start to loosen up a bit. It's the same in the mornings.  The elliptical helps get me moving in the mornings.  It's a little bit of change to pre-op.  Too much movement used to be what slowed me down.  It's a positive change.  One I'm not quite sure I've come to terms with yet.

As a woman how did you cope with not getting your hair done for the 6 or 7 weeks :D no serious, I'm a fella and my hair looks like a mad scientist, I can't wait to get a hair cut!
Just before I went into hospital, I had a hair cut, colour, got my eyebrows waxed and tinted and I did ok for a little while.  I had to get my tweezers brought into the hospital as the eyebrows started to bug me before anything else did.  The next thing that bothered me was my legs.  I really should have waxed those too as shaving was out due to hip restrictions.  It was totally gross.  I wore long pants a lot.  The compression socks also helped hide my legs!

When I did get home, I had my hair cut at home.  Even before the op, my hairdresser came to my friend's house and we'd all go there to get our hair cut and coloured.  When I came home, the venue changed to mine, so I didn't have to go anywhere.

When you go to the grocery shopping I assume you need your crutch to get into the shop, how do you deal with the crutch/trolley situation?
In the beginning, I took the walker with me so that I could sit down if I needed it.  I did need to sit down a few times when I first went.  When I was going with the walker, I needed someone with me as I wasn't driving yet.  Even if I had been, I wouldn't have been able to get the walker in and out of the car on my own.  I'm really not sure how the older ladies and men overcome that issue.  It's quite an awkward size and shape to lift in. It might just be that it doesn't fit into our car really well that I have so much of an issue with it.

Now I'm walking a bit better I take my crutch and put it in the trolley.  I noticed another lady doing the same thing when I was there last.  She was a little older than me but it seems to be the common solution to this problem.  Putting pressure on the trolley instead of the cane helps to stop me limping.  Shopping is becoming a little easier as time progresses.


Thanks to Tony for the questions for today!  I look forward to getting more sent through to me!

Things I can and can't do

Things that I can do, that are getting easier but are still difficult:

• Reaching down to pick up anything off the floor.  It all depends on the height of the item.  Paper is still out.  So is the lid for the butter that always seems to land face down.  It seems like I drop a lot more things than I used to or is it just that I notice it more?
• Lifting my legs in and out of the car.  Still feels like it should belong to part of a workout.
• Holding my legs in the air....  Why would anyone need to do this?  The only reason that I can think of is because it is on a list of exercises to do.  I can't really think of how this might fit into day to day life on a G rated blog!
• Getting socks on.  Requires the use of the reacher still.  Once the toes are in though, it is heaps easier to get them over my heels.
• Getting up of a low seat.  I am still using the toilet seat raiser in the toilet at home, not because I have to, more because it's still a pain to get up and down, especially at night when I'm half asleep.  Given that I am out a fair bit now and using regular height toilets quite frequently, I'm not in a huge hurry to get rid of it completely.
• Getting to the pool from the car park...  this still feels like a really big walk.  I've been using two crutches but tomorrow, I think I'm going to have a crack at using the cane.  I'll keep the crutches in the car, where they have been for the last couple of weeks, just in case I need them.  
• Getting onto the elliptical.  That step up still seems huge. The step to get into the ladies toilets at work is still a bigger effort...  a much bigger but required effort!
• Putting on pants.  For the benefit of others this is something that I practice every day!
• Working all day.  I'm getting closer to doing that but I'm still capping out at about 6 hours before I'm totally wrecked.  
• Carrying things.  I still ask for my coffee to be in a takeaway cup when I'm at work as I couldn't carry a cup on a saucer up the stairs to the office.  I am limited to using one hand when I walking outside of the house as I rely on a crutch or cane.  At home, I will walk short distances without and can use both hands to carry light items.

Things that I can't do yet that I'm looking forward to:

• Use the step ladder at the pool.  I couldn't do that pre-op so it's a good range tester
• Wear shoes with laces and tie them myself.  Again, no go pre-op.
• Walking long distances without pain and mobility aids.  By long distance, I mean an entire morning or afternoon shopping without a cane or crutch.  
• Walking without a limp and without a mobility aid

I can't think of too much else to add to the list at the moment.  If anyone has any ideas of day to day activities that I really should comment on, please let me know!

Elliptical update

After spending twenty minutes on the elliptical yesterday, I woke up this morning with sore muscles.  Without any excruciating hip pain that I would have associated with about twenty minutes of any kind of activity pre-op.  It is pretty amazing.  If I managed to survive for 20 minutes doing that type of activity, I would have needed extra meds before bed, would have suffered with little sleep and probably would have still been limping and in pain today.

I stepped up pretty quickly from the 15 minutes that I did on Monday.  I was probably feeling a little bit over confident after smashing the 90 degree mark and it's gone ok.  I'm a little tired today and won't finish up with that many minutes today but tomorrow I plan to do 20 again.  I figure if I stick to that for a couple of days and get my body used to that activity, I should be able to add another 4 or 5 minutes pretty soon.

I can see!

I picked up my new glasses today, so I am writing my first post wearing them.  It's amazing how crisp the fonts look.  I didn't realise how fuzzy things were getting.  I'm hoping that they also fix the persistent headache that I have had since last week.

It's strange to put on glasses for the first time and sit in front of the computer.  I liken my eyeballs to the little bit inside a camera that controls the autofocus, zooming in and out until the image is clear.  It doesn't take too long for them to bring everything into sharp and clear it is just an odd sensation.  I'm sure I'll get used to them pretty quickly.

More than 90 Degrees!

Today my right hip flexion got to a passive range of 93 degrees.  This is a large jump up from where I was last week and over the magic 90 degree mark that I have been aiming for.  The left is still below, at 80-something degrees (I was so focused on the 90 number, I can't remember the other one) but thats ok.  There was still improvement on the right side and it would have still been an improvement that I would have been happy with, especially with the plateau of last weeks measurements.

I was so excited that I wanted to jump...  I didn't!  I'll save it for the pool on Friday.

Today was a good day for the elliptical as well.  I've stepped up to 15 minutes from my previous 12.  I completed this in two sessions and I think that I could probably even go a third session but I want to wake up in the morning first and see how I feel.  I am using level 2 on the ramp and resistance for most of the time.  I figure that I can get to 30 minutes and then I can increase the resistance and ramp throughout the period and maybe even use some of the proper programmes rather than manual settings.

Hip Flexion Ranges

I realised something on Friday at hydro that I forgot to mention.  I have been a bit hard on myself about my hip flexion ranges and how slowly they are moving now.  On Friday, I tried to get out of the pool using the step ladder, which I knew I couldn't but I wanted to try anyway.  I was about an inch off.  I remembered that a few weeks before I went into surgery, we had to use the outside pool and it doesn't have a ramp.  Reese had to help me get out of the pool because I couldn't do it then.   This is good news to me.

It will be interesting to see if I'm still on that plateau or whether the ranges have increased again.  I'll try again each week to see if I'm any closer to that bottom step.  I'll have to figure out the range next time so I have a pretty good idea of what I'm aiming towards.

Shopping Marathon

I followed up hydro today with a pretty big shopping trip. I am looking for a birthday gift for an eight year old girl and having trouble finding something cool and appropriate.  I started in the city but the two stores that I wanted to go to weren't there anymore.  A lot has happened in the few months that I have been out of action.  This was my first trip into the city since the op and I was pretty confident going in that I could handle the crowds.  There were people everywhere and I was almost run over by various people swarming in all different directions without really looking what was right in front of them.  There was also a man in a wheelchair who seemed to target me in his sights at a fair distance.  I moved in front of a sign to get out of the way and he cleared it and me by about two centimetres.  I felt like I was moving against the traffic most of the time I was there and spent a fair bit of time standing still as to brace myself in case the person barrelling in my direction makes contact.  They seemed to move out of the way  at the last second after figuring out that the person that they were walking towards that was making their way quite slowly with crutches wasn't going to be the one to walk around.  I wasn't intentionally trying to get in other people's way and I tried to stick close to walls and railings as to avoid that situation but it didn't help.

I survived the city and having not found anything in the stores near where I was parked, I decided that I needed a break from walking and decided to head out.  By the time I got on the freeway, I figured that I still had enough energy to hit one section of Garden City.  I had about as much luck there and went home without anything.  It wasn't really a marathon by most people's standards but it was for me.  I am quite pleased by how my body handled that amount of walking.  My lower back is a little bit tight, as are my calf muscles but aside from that everything feels pretty good.  I don't think that I will continue to get lower back tightness once I'm no longer using crutches.

The day wasn't a complete write off.  I did get to go to MBF to finalise my claim for the anaesthesiologist, so at least something is checked of the to do list today.

Unplanned events

This week has been a little all over the place.   It kind of started to go off the rails on Tuesday and I haven't really gotten back on top of things.   That was the day that brought with it a series of unusual and unwanted visual effects in front of my eyes.  It was kind of like there was a filter in front of my eyes causing blurry sections and flashing lights that lasted for about half an hour.  My head hurt but not to what I would expect a migraine to be so I wasn't too sure what the problem was.  My husband was a little more concerned than I was and shuffled me off to the doctors to make sure that it wasn't a post-op complication.

After a full debrief to make sure there wasn't anything seriously wrong, the doctor believed that they were migraine like symptoms even though there was no incapacitating headache with them.  I also received a pretty stern lecture about how serious this type of thing can be if accompanied by other symptoms like numbness or tingling.  I promised that I would get myself to hospital if that happened.  He also requested that I get my eyes tested and a retinal photographs taken to make sure that all is good with my eyes.

The earliest that I could be seen by the optometrist was today.  I received a phone call this morning saying that they were sick and the next earliest was Monday.  I wasn't particularly keen on waiting that long as the mild headache that started on Tuesday is still there and driving me crazy.  I wanted someone else to look and see to make sure there wasn't anything else going.

After just about every test possible and a check of my previous results, my retinas are healthy looking, there are no clots in the blood vessels, it's simply a case of needing glasses for reading 'sometimes'.  The right eye needs a slight prescription (or had a slight prescription, I'm not really sure on the terminology with eyes) and apparently is mild enough to compensate unless I am fatigued or stressed.  Fatigue is pretty well part of my life at the moment so it looks like I need a bit of help now rather than in another couple of years time.  So I need glasses.  Well one eye needs a 'glass' but they generally come in pairs these days.  I'm not sure a monocle would suit my look.

Looking back, I'm wondering whether subconsciously this is part of the reason that I haven't started reading again.  Maybe eye discomfort that I wasn't really aware of above everything else that was going on led to me avoiding reading as much.  I don't know.  All I know is that my head hurts and I really did think that I was finished breaking down for a little while.  I hope that's the last for a little while yet.  They should arrive within a week.

Tomorrow morning is hydro and then I think I'm going to have a nap during the day.  I'm just tired.  It happens.

Guarding my thoughts

Today I didn't make it into the office.

I made it as far as Physio and to one of the venues to pick up invoices and then I went home to start work on them.  I wasn't up to going in today.  I'm not sure if it was the thought of the chair and table that I am using until the person using my desk full time moves into their new office or whether it was inevitable questions explaining how the work I was doing actually fits into the grand scheme of the businesses' future plans that kept me away.  Perhaps it was a combination of both.  

I started off the day with a headache and it didn't really ease until later this afternoon.  My range measurements didn't improve this week either, so not only was there pain there was also general grumpiness and a little despair at the plateau that I've reached.

I've been thinking a lot about that plateau today and have started wondering whether I ever had greater hip flexion than that.  I'm currently at a passive range of eighty degrees but I'm not sure when it was ever better than that.  Maybe it hasn't been since I was a child.  In that case, it's going to take a hell of a lot more than three months worth of stretching to bring it back.  I guess because the abduction range came back immediately, I expected the rest to follow suit pretty quickly.  Under the guise of pain, there were a few tears at Physio today.  You can kind of get away with it when you have your head in the hole and it you are involuntarily jumping each time the pain is sharp.  It probably helps that I'm a girl too.  A little more socially acceptable.   Not that anyone would say anything negative, I'm sure that they would be a great support, it's more that I don't really want to share some of these thoughts.  Not until they've been processed and I can decide how I want to deal with them.  The crazy thing is that is probably the place where how I'm feeling would be understood the best.  

I think the abundance of people who ask but don't want to really know have made me a little more guarded about discussing it especially when I am having a bit of a tough day.  I read a blog a while ago about a girl that had a total hip and wrote a blog.  She stopped blogging when someone made a comment about how that was all she ever spoke about.  It feels like that is where people are at now with me but they just haven't said it yet.  The thing is that this thing is still the central point in my life at the moment.  My whole world revolves around my rehabilitation and the distance there is still to go.  I don't have the energy for too much more than that.  It might seem like I'm projecting that all is good but this doesn't mean that I'm ready to take on anything more than I am right now.  As it stands, I think that I might have too much and I'm not making enough time for all my exercises, that somehow I should be doing more of them.  I worry that this could be part of the reason that I've hit the plateau.  These are just more things that people don't want to know.

I don't know why I thought that this would be any different than talking about the arthritis.  I didn't talk about that too often because those who haven't dealt with it before don't understand living with a chronic condition.  This is an extension of that.  Just because I want to talk about this massive change in my life, doesn't mean that others aren't sick of hearing about it.  I'm thankful for those that have been through this process and those spoonies that can understand.  Even when I have finished rehab and life is better than it has ever been, I'll probably still want to talk about them.  I guess I'm going to have to find some new people to talk to.  Ones that are interested in resurfacing, replacements and MOM joints.  I guess there will always be a place for me at Surface Hippy.  I'll also be able to blog.  People can choose to read or not.  If they don't, well they don't need to hear my hip talk and the important changes that are going on in my life. 

In an attempt to feel like I have achieved something today, I've increased the time on the elliptical today to nine and a half minutes and 500 metres.  I'm not sure how that will treat me tomorrow but I really needed to increase and improve something today.  I feel ok so far so hopefully it will be ok.  If I'm doing well tomorrow, I might try to add another minute and a half.  

Aside from exercise and Physio, I had a little bit of work to do today, though nothing was time critical.  It was more getting a bit of a start on the work that needs to be done this week.  Tomorrow is the time critical day which I already have a good start on.  As for the rest of the week, I guess I will work out as it progresses.  

It's so close

I can feel it.  I'm almost there.  It's not going to be today or tomorrow but maybe another month.  I'm not quite sure which is more difficult to deal with, feeling like it will never end or feeling like it's so close but it still so far away.  I still get tired and needed a really quiet day yesterday to recover from the week.

Today I'm going out to lunch when I could probably would be happier staying at home getting ready for tomorrow.  I picked up some work on Thursday so that I wouldn't have such a big day tomorrow but I haven't even looked at it yet and I'm really not sure I feel like looking at it at all.  I suppose that's a pretty normal reaction to real life and weekends.  

When I get home, I'm going to cook for the next couple of days so at least I don't have to worry about that.  I'm not quite sure what I'm going to feel like only that it has lots of vegetables.  I haven't really had my share in the last couple of days with too many other things going on.  

On Friday, I had physio and we practiced with the cane again.  It's starting to look a lot better but the action of walking doesn't feel natural at all.  My arms don't really know what they should do and my left one just likes to stay still.  Apparently this is quite a normal reaction to injury as the body holds the arms in and it is something that you have to learn again.  When I do concentrate on it and get the pattern right, reduce the hitch in my stride as my left leg moves forward in a straighter line instead of coming around.  I'm not sure why I do this or why this incorrect pattern feels more natural than a proper gait pattern.  

I have to go finish getting ready to go and will finish this post when I get home.

I've made it home and back to the couch where I spent a great deal of yesterday.  I'm still worn out, just with a belly full of Grill'd burger and chips now.  I've still got to get up the energy to get some cooking done for tomorrow as I'm unlikely to have the energy.  I've only clocked up 4 minutes on the elliptical today so far and I'm not convinced that I could step back up onto it to finish of the rest of todays minutes.  I might have a go a little later on, maybe after I've had a small nap.

Before I went out to lunch, I started off with the rest of the activities that filled last week and wore me out.  Friday was a pretty long day.  Aside from Physio first up, I also spent a few hours working at the computer and then went out to the movies in the evening.   I still managed to fit in 8 minutes and 400 metres on the elliptical, so it would have been the longest and busiest day that I have had so far.  On the tails of a full week, I deserved my rest day yesterday. On the plus side, I didn't wear myself so much so I that I couldn't walk without the two crutches like the day that I overdid it.

Tomorrow is Physio day and a measuring ranges day.  I haven't decided if I am going into work tomorrow or Wednesday.   I guess I will just see how I feel in the morning.