An interesting side effect of blogging has been checking my statistics. I find it interesting to discover where you are all coming from and how you managed to get here. I have been involved in Internet and associated businesses (starting out in dial up sales and support) and though I've always had an interest in all things Internet, this is somehow more interesting to me. I think mostly because it's personal. I'm actually curious about the people that are visiting my site and the reason that they were here, what they were looking for and if I was able to help them. The personal reason for this blog is to share information about my hip replacement with people who are maybe thinking about getting one or have had one and are looking for other people out there and how they are going.
Looking at the search terms and the pages that are viewed, I can get an idea of what people want to look at and address some of these areas in more detail in later posts. Right now I think I am missing out on a post about recovery time and a few other topics that I haven't really gone into great depth about my thoughts or feelings on the topic or really where I think I might end up and when. Stats aren't the only way that I've realised that there is a lot more of my story to tell.
I've had some awesome emails with a few suggestions which have helped me think a bit more about a few things relating to how I feel about where I 'm at. It's true that I have tried to be probably a little too positive with some of my posts and this isn't always exactly how I'm feeling. Some of the people who know me well have been able to easily read between the lines, where other visitors don't have the benefit of that insight. I have wanted to make this blog a fair representation of the process and how I have worked through it to get my 'better life' and there are some things that are missing.
One of the things that I've been asked is if I ever get into a rut because my posts seem a little 'too positive'. I'm going to just paste part of an email I wrote in here as it sums it up pretty well:
I do get into a rut sometimes and get sick of the whole thing. [......] Things are up and down and I find that when I start to write it out, I become more even which is probably why things read more positively. When it's still all in my head, I kind of get into a bit of a downward spiral sometimes where I can't actually think about anything good that has happened. When I go to write, I'm forced to think of at least something that has changed or improved or I'd have nothing to write about. In a lot of ways, having the blog has helped me get through this process.
I think that I have written some rather insightful emails to my blog visitors and my friends since I've had the operation and I think that maybe my blog could benefit from some of these personal insights that I had on days when I haven't blogged. I'm not quite sure yet about the best way to add these in. I'm thinking that maybe I'll summarise their questions and post my responses. I'm thinking that I might tag as "Correspondence" and if it ends up being interesting, adding a page for these posts.
There have been a couple of reasons why I have tried to phrase things a little more positively at times. One part is that some people know who I am. Who I am or who I think I am often contradicts some of the thoughts and feelings that I have had throughout this process. Sometimes I think I made a mistake in publicising where I would be telling my story because I have edited some of the things that I have said and tried to make my thoughts sound more positive than I was really feeling. On the other hand, the Internet is forever and editing those thoughts that will be around forever may not necessarily be a 'bad thing'. I can always come back later and tell the parts of the story that were too difficult to tell at the time with the insight that a few more days or a few more weeks has given me. Since I received the question, I have thought a bit harder before editing my thoughts as much.
Another reason is that I still believe that when I get through this rehab process, things will be better than they have been for a long time and this perspective looking back will benefit others. I have a number of drafts from earlier posts that I have kept shelved for the time being, that I hope that I will gain some insight or perspective or just some point for them so that some day this blog is a full accounting of how this chronic disease has affected my life and how hip replacement has changed it for the better.
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